Archive | December, 2011

How does it feel to be a criminal?

My home phone rings.

Not even my relatives call this, as they usually ring me on my mobile phone.

The caller ID shows the call as INTERNATIONAL (no number), and the call has a terrible VOIP quality.

‘Mr Roberts? Mr Neegel Roberts??’

‘Yes, who is this?’ I say.

‘This is Windows IT Support of London calling. Your PC is going to crash in the next half an hour’  comes the response.

At this point it is worth noting that I don’t HAVE a Windows machine.

‘Oh really?

‘Yes. You are going to be losing all your folders and files’.
At this point I say to him:

‘How does it feel to be a criminal?’


‘Your Windows computer is in danger, Mister Neegel!’  (He hasn’t understood what I’ve said’).

‘I mean, I know you guys need any job you can find, down there in Bangalore, or Mumbai or wherever you are calling from … … …  but how does it feel to be a criminal, calling up people with scare stories and trying to get them to give you access to their computer??’

At this point he says to me:


‘How does it feel to be a bastard, Mr Neegel Roberts?, eh you tell me?’

‘I practice’ is my response.


‘F*ck off, f*ck off, F*CK OFF, you bastard!!!!!’ he tells me, eloquently, and disconnects the call.

I guess he wasn’t from Microsoft after all.







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